Same Old Scene February 2, 2010

Tuesday has rolled around once again.  At this week’s weigh in, I lost 1.6 lbs.  It’s incredible to me that I keep seeing losses on the scale.  It’s also incredible to me that, even though my losses have gotten smaller than they used to be, I’m more excited by them.  I am working just as hard (if not harder) for these smaller losses as I did for the bigger ones.  It’s not a feeling I was expecting.

I went to Zumba tonight and only lasted twenty minutes before I had to come home.  I’ve developed another cold and this one has settled in my lungs.  I felt like something was stabbing me every time I tried to breath so I headed home.  I really hope the instructor lets me make the class up next week.

What else is new?  Not much.  Weight loss is a pretty boring business if you ask me.  It’s a lot of routine and hum-drum-edy-ness.

I’ll be back later this week to give some details about my newest fitness endeavor.  I want to get all the details hammered out before I share them with the world.

Ridiculous Thoughts January 26, 2010

I’m down 1.8 lbs this week.  I’m starting to freak out a little bit about the prospect of maintenance.  Like, really freak out.  I’m trying not to think about it yet, so in that vein:

Tonight at WW, we talked about emotional eating vs. eating for hunger and our leader asked how we can tell when we’re full.  There was extremely loud silence following her question.  Eventually, I put up my hand and answered “when my plate is empty, I’m done eating”. 

This is true for me.  I cannot tell when I’m full.  Or rather, I can tell when I’m full, but I have no problem with continuing eating well past that point.  Even now, 20 minutes after dinner, I could keep eating.  I mean, I had a wonderful dinner (turkey enchilada casserole) with salad and then had some fruit for dessert.  It was filling and satisfying and all that wonderful stuff.  But?  I could eat more.

Sometimes, I even eat past the point of comfort, like I did on Christmas Day.  It’s like a compulsion.  I just keep putting the food in my mouth for the few seconds that it lingers there, tasting like heaven.   I end up feeling gross and uncomfortable, but I know I would do it again.  I think vomiting might be the only thing that would make me stop, but I might be wrong.  Maybe I would just feel excited to have room to eat all the delicious stuff again.  I’ve never had this happen so I’m not speaking from experience, but….I have a scary feeling it’s true.

What makes me even sadder is that I realized on New Years Eve that the worse food is for me, the faster I eat it.  Like I’m afraid someone is going to take it from me at any second.  I even sort of resent other people sharing it with me, I jealously watch how much they take to make sure I get enough.

I wasn’t starved as a child, I’ve never gone hungry, and yet here I sit.  I obviously have some issues with food. 

How about any of you?  Is any of this sounding at all familiar?

Frizzle Fry January 25, 2010

I believe I promised you a recipe, didn’t I?

I made this last week and plan on eating it again this week.  It was so freaking good, I can’t even tell you.  I got it out of a Weight Watchers cookbook that my mom gave me for Christmas and the book was worth it, just for this recipe.

Garlic Beef and Snow Peas

Ingredients:

5 garlic cloves minced

1 TBSP minced peeled ginger

12 oz boneless sirloin steak, trimmed and cut into thin strips

4 scallions cut into 1 inch lengths

1 1/2 cups trimmed snow peas

1 large red bell pepper, thinly sliced

1/3 cup reduced sodium chicken broth

2 TBSPs reduced sodium soy sauce

1 tsp sugar

1 1/2 TBSP cornstarch

1 TBS water

1/2-1 tsp chilli garlic sauce

Spray a non-stick wok with non-stick spray and set over high heat.  When pan is hot enough for a drop of water to sizzle in it, add the garlic and ginger and stir fry until fragrant (approx 1 min).  Add the beef and stir fry until browned (approx 3 mins).

Add the scallions, snow peas and red pepper, stir fry approx 1 min.  Add the broth, soy sauce and sugar and bring to a simmer.  Reduce heat and simmer, stirring occasionally (approx 2 mins).

Meanwhile, in a mug, stir together cornstarch, water and chilli garlic sauce until smooth.  Add to the wok and stir fry until the sauce thickens and bubbles (approx 30 seconds).

Makes 4 one-cup servings

Calories: 159;  Fat: 3 grams;  Fiber: 2 grams;  POINTS value: 3

Now, my tips are thus:  make sure you have everything prepped before you start (veggies cut up, meat sliced, cornstarch mixture mixed) because it cooks extremely fast.  Also, be careful with that chilli garlic sauce.  I cut the recipe in half but figured I would use the entire amount of the chilli garlic sauce because a) I like spicy and b) I’m no wimp.  My mouth was on fire for at least an hour after I finished eating.  I also served this over quinoa and it sopped up all the yummy sauce.  So, so good.

Eye on the Prize January 19, 2010

I’m down 1.6 lbs this week.  I have less than 50 lbs till my goal weight and I’m setting myself another mini-goal with a timeline to keep me focused.

By June 1st, which is 19 weeks away, I want to be half the woman I was.  That will mean having lost 165 lbs and it will mean that I will WEIGH 165 lbs.  I need to lose 29.2 lbs to get there, which is an average of 1.5 lbs per week.  It will be tough, these pounds are going to become ever increasingly difficult to shed, but I like goals that are aggressive.  Keeps me motivated.

Speaking of motivation, thank you very much everybody for the nice comments you left on my pictures!  Putting your fat face (and ass) all over the world-wide web is never easy, but you guys make it much more so.  I love you guys!

Have a great week everybody!  I’ll be back to share a recipe I had for dinner tonight that was the best tasting thing I have every personally made.

Picture This January 15, 2010

I’ve put a new picture in the gallery (with much work and frustration; it turns out, I hate using WordPress as much as I hate Blogger.  Maybe I’m just computer illiterate), which is always fun.  I took the pictures in November, but kept having to bug the picture taker until she sent them to me.  Take it up with her if you don’t want to wait so long between photos.

The funniest thing, is that even though there’s almost a forty pound difference between these pictures and the last ones I took in July, I cannot for the life of me see a difference.  HA!  HA!  I’m laughing to keep from crying.  My fat-blindness has spread to photos, so now I’ll just have to take peoples word for it when they say I’m getting smaller.

I can however see a difference in these two photos:

Weight - 308.2 lbs

Weight - 208.2 lbs

 

Seeing those two pictures next to each other never gets old.  It’s a hell of a motivator. 

Speaking of motivators, hearing that floors are collapsing under Weight Watchers meetings makes me think I decided to get healthy at just the right time!

Little Differences January 14, 2010

You guys! Fatty McBlog has started writing again!!!  This is one of the first weight-related blogs I ever read and their archives are still some of my faves.  These two ladies are super funny and while they don’t really write about weight LOSS, you should still check them out.  I added them (and a bunch of my other favourite blogs) to my blogroll this week.

Certain things change when you lose weight.  Some things (energy level, clothing size) are expected.  Others….are not.  Here is a list of things that are different now that I’m smaller:

1.  I used to always be hot.  Roasting.  I hated the summer because all I did was run waddle from my air-conditioned house to my air-conditioned car to my destination, which was almost always air-conditioned.  I thought that my internal temperature was just set higher than other peoples.  I was wrong.  Now I am freezing cold 98% of the time and the other 2% occurs when I am in the shower or working out.  I used to sleep with my window open in the winter (and I live in Canada people).  Now I have three blankets on my bed and am considering investing in a heating blanket so that I can stop taking a warm bath every night before I climb in.

2.  My shoe size has changed.  I really didn’t think my feet were THAT fat before but, again, I was wrong.  I went from a size 8 to a size 7.5 or even a 7.  I guess my weight pushing down on my feet made them wider and that necessitated a bigger shoe size?  I’m really not sure what that’s about, but as I’ve bought new shoes, they are smaller than they used to be.  I don’t think vanity sizing has spread to footwear yet, so my feet must have shrunk.

3.  I have lost 1/4 of an inch of height.  This must also have something to do with the fat on my feet.  Maybe the fat on my feet was on the bottom of them?  I have no idea.  When I had my last physical, they measured me at 5′5 3/4 inches and I’ve always measured 5′6″ even so….it’s a mystery.

4.  I had to start buying different panty liners (oops, was that TMI?).  I always bought ones that said “Long” on them, but recently I’ve felt a bit like I was wearing a diaper because they were now TOO long.  I switched to regular ones and have not had that same feeling.  I never realized that being fat would make me wider in the lady bits, but I guess this makes sense since my panties kept getting larger as I got bigger.  Why wouldn’t the same hold true for my liners?

5.  It doesn’t take me as long to shave my legs.  I’m attributing this one to the fact that there’s less “surface area” then there used to be and therefore, it takes less time to groom them.  Actually, this holds true for lots of stuff.  I use less of products (body lotion, shave gel etc) then I used to.  I didn’t notice it at first, but my mom commented that I was still using the same shave gel I had when I was in Vegas and that her’s never lasts that long.  I realized I use less than I used to. 

I can’t wait to see what’s going to change next.

To Whom it May Concern January 12, 2010

Down 2.8 lbs this week and inching closer to losing the word obese from how I can be described.  Very soon my pretties.

In other news, I think I’m going to start writing letters here to the people who piss me off that I cannot, for one reason or another, confront.  Without further ado:

Dear Cream Cheese Thief:

I realize that its a communal fridge at our office.  I also realize that by leaving something there, I’m risking it’s loss, but I rather counted on the fact that we’re a small company and you probably look me in the eye everyday as a preventative of your heinous crime.

I was wrong. 

You sir, (or madam) are despicable.  I only keep the cream cheese there so I can pair it with a frozen bagel (in the freezer but you missed those) on the days when I forget to bring my breakfast after the gym.  I thought I noticed it going missing, but I convinced myself I was being paranoid.  After all, who steals fat-free cream cheese?  It’s not like it tastes good, believe me!  Basically it’s only function is to make the bagel moist enough to swallow.  Apparently though, I was not paranoid because yesterday when I pulled the tub out of the fridge, you had once again helped yourself.

YOU LEFT ME A MERE DAB!  It looked like you spread the schmear on your bagel (or whatever you put it on) and then wiped your knife on the lip of the container and left me the remains.  Not only was it insulting, but it was unhygienic!  I don’t want your leftover crumb-filled cream cheese!  I had to eat my bagel dry!  My tiny, Weight Watchers, “it’s only two points”, whole-wheat bagel.  It’s never very good and you robbed me not only of my cream cheese, but also of all of the pleasure that there is to be found in this not- very-satisfying breakfast.

For shame, sir (or madam).  For shame.

Signed,

A cream-cheeseless bagel eater.

Congratulations January 10, 2010

If you get a chance, you might want to wander over to Jack’s place and give him a virtual high five.  He hit one-derland himself this week, something he’s been working on since Easter.  His blog is a great one, you should check it out if you haven’t already (which I’m sure you have, it’s got to be one of the most popular weight loss blogs out there).

Caught a Lite Sneeze January 5, 2010

I lost 1.2 lbs this week, which means I effectively maintained my weight loss during the holidays!  How’s that for something to be proud of?!

I’m sick….again.  I blame this on eating sort of crappy foods during the holidays and neglecting to take my vitamins through the month of December.  I also blame my mother, who brought this plague into our house when she came for Christmas.  My grandmother has since gotten sick as well.  Having someone to blame when I’m sick always makes me feel better (at least emotionally, since it doesn’t really get me physically better any faster).

My Zumba classes start back up tonight after the holiday break and I’m super bummed to be missing the first class, but I think it’s best if I stay home and rest up.  I don’t think anyone would appreciate me sniffling and sneezing through the merengue and salsa dancing.

I’m going to go home now (I came to work today, what kind of dumb idea was that?!) and take a nap.  Catch you all on the flip side!

The Concept January 1, 2010

Since its January 1st, I believe the time has come for me to make my resolutions known to the world. 

Last year my resolution was simple: lose weight.  I didn’t particularly care how much weight, I just wanted to take off as much as I could.  I ended 2009 having lost about 129 lbs (although the New Years Eve indulgence has yet to be accounted for) and feel like a completely different person than I did last January. 

This year it’s different.  I still want to lose about 55 lbs, but I really don’t care how long it takes to shed them.  Don’t get me wrong, I still plan to follow my WW points and get plenty of exercise, but I realized the other day that if I never lost another pound, I could be happy at this weight.  I guess a benefit of being over 300 lbs is feeling skinny at 199.  I can now find cute clothes that fit in sizes that aren’t Plus, I can bound up flights of stairs, I no longer have to circle parking lots looking for close spots because I can park at the back and walking to the doors is no problem.  I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been in my adult life so this year, my focus will be on fitness resolutions, not losing weight.  I also have a plan and timeline for how I’m going to complete these goals, leaving me less likely to not accomplish them.

Without further ado, here is my To-Do list for 2010:

1.  Take swimming lessons -  Now, I wouldn’t drown if I fell off a boat.  I can float, tread water and dog paddle, but I’m not a strong swimmer and I can’t put my face in the water.  This is a problem because of another of my goals involves being a strong swimmer, therefore lessons are in order.  I’ve already called the city parks department and discovered that adults must take private lessons, so I’m saving my pennies to be able to sign up for these in February.

2.  Sign up for a Learn to Run 5K – they offer these in my town at the Running Room.  I want to take up running outdoors, and I’ve thought many times about doing the Couch to 5K but I’d really like to tackle it in a group format, and I think joining a running group is the way to go.  I don’t want to learn to run on ice, so I’m waiting till March for this one.

3.  Run a 5K in May – at the end of the LTR program, you are signed up for a 5K run and I can’t wait to be able to say that I’ve done this!

4.  Ride my bike – I bought a bike last year and barely used it.  My ass just cannot take sitting on that tiny little seat, so I’m going to buy padded shorts and hit spin classes until the good weather comes around and hope that my bum is broken in enough to withstand that hard, tiny seat in the spring.

5.  Take up yoga or Pilates – I’ve been wanting to do this for some time now, but I never seemed to find the time.  No more!  If it means sacrificing some of my beloved cardio, then so be it.  I want to be more flexible and balanced and I am going to make the time to take these classes.  They are offered at my gym so there is really no excuse.

6.  WEIGHT TRAINING – I put this off and put this off because I hate it.  I hate lifting weights.  It makes me so tired (as opposed to cardio which energizes me) and I can never keep it up long enough to see results.  I am resolving to get in at least two weight workouts per week using a program from a book I bought about nine months ago and have never used.

7.  Run a half-triathlon - I would like to accomplish this by the end of the year and it’s the goal I’m most nervous about.  It’s the reason I want to be a better swimmer and why I want to take up biking.  My uncle Chris has expressed an interest in doing this with me and I really like to have long-term goals to work towards.  I don’t think I’m a distance runner (no marathons in my future) but I love the idea of an event that uses biking, running and swimming, so I figure I’ll give a triathlon my best shot.  I’ll start with half-tri’s and move to full ones eventually.

There you have it.  The seven things I’m working towards in 2010.  What are you planning to do with your year?