A Perfect Version of Myself

Losing Weight is Hard

I’m So Excited December 30, 2008

Filed under: Weight Loss Updates — Tara @ 12:34 pm
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I lost another 5.4 lbs this week!  I feel like jumping around in joy, but I’m afraid it would hurt my knees when I landed.

Since joining WW, I’ve lost a total of 19.4 lbs, which is so awesome I can’t even believe I’m typing it.  I’ve never lost that much weight in my life.  I usually lose the same 10-14 lbs over and over again.  I start a diet, initially lose and then gain, and then lose and then gain.  Those 10-14 lbs are like some kind of unwelcome boomerang (I hate yo-yos, so I refuse to use them as an example).

This time, I’ve broken through them!  I’m giving myself a huge pat on the back.

 

9 to 5 December 29, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 10:18 pm
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I never thought I’d say this, but I miss being at work.

No, I don’t miss the actual tasks I do all day, nor do I miss any of my coworkers….it’s just that being at work is so much easier in terms of my eating plan.  I always struggle on the weekends too, cause there’s less stucture and more time to do what I like to do best: eat.

One of the main reasons I’m fat is that I love to eat when I’m bored.  I will be sitting, not hungry, having just finished dinner, and I’ll eat because I’m not doing anything better.  That’s why I think I had an easier than expected time in December with the new eating plan.  I was working two jobs and had a ton of social commitments due to the holiday season.  Sure, it was hard cause I had to plan things so well, but it was also easier because there was no time to sit around and think about the bag of sour cream and onion crispy-minis in my junk cupboard.

When I’m at work, I have a schedule.  I get up, shower and attempt to make my hair look normal.  I eat breakfast, pack my lunch and drive to work.  When I get there, I work until lunch time, go for lunch and then work until it’s time to go home.  I’ll admit, when I first started drinking more water, I felt like I spent more time in the bathroom then at my desk, but that’s mostly subsided.  I go home at the end of the day, cook dinner and watch TV.

I only have to avoid bad eating in the time after dinner until I go to bed!  It’s so much easier than when I used to work erratic hours and would sit on my hands for hours trying not to gorge myself on whatever was handy.

I’m on holiday break now, I’ve been off since the 24th of December (I did work two days at the bookstore right after Christmas) and I’m honestly kinda glad to be getting back into my routine.  I think I’ve done pretty good this last week, but it’s been a battle.

Who knew that dieting would make me appreciate being at work?  It’s almost enough to give me nightmares.

 

Go Shopping December 26, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 8:45 pm
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I am so glad that my last shift at the bookstore is tomorrow.  I worked today from 11 am till 6 pm and I almost died.  My feet are so sore and my legs are throbbing.  It was a very long day. 

Sometimes I think that I have so much pride, it’s going to kill me because when the manager of the bookstore I worked at for a few years asked me to come back for the Christmas holidays, I said yes.

I said yes knowing that I was going to be extremely uncomfortable for much of my time there.  I knew that working on my feet, after not only gaining 65 lbs but also after not standing to work for three years, would be horrible.  I didn’t do it because I particularly needed the money, or because I love working two jobs (ha!), I said yes because if I had’ve said no to working there based solely on factors associated with my weight, I think a piece of me would have died.

You see, it’s one thing to fool yourself into thinking that you don’t like to fly – when really, you’re afraid you won’t fit in an airplane seat – or to tell yourself that you’re saving money by not clothes shopping – when really it’s getting harder and harder to find things that fit – it’s quite another to not be able to WORK because of your weight.  That’s one step away from my biggest nightmare, which is being so fat I end up on Jerry Springer (and only after they take the wall down in my house to get me out).

So I said yes and I’ve been aching ever since.  Thankfully as I said, tomorrow is my last day.  By this time next year, I hope to be down some considerable poundage and it will likely be easier on my body.  Cause weighing what I do, not sitting for eight hours and standing on concrete floors?  It’s less than fun.

Oh, and a brief update on the Christmas dinner situation?  I ate a huge bowl of salad, two pieces of white meat turkey and the smallest spoonful of stuffing.  I turned down the cheesecake and I only ate a couple of the sweet appetizers laid out.  And miracle of miracles around MY family, I didn’t drink a drop of hooch.

And then I ate nacho dip and tortilla chips while playing euchre.  Oops.

I’m not sweating it though, I figure it’s the least amount of calories I’ve ever consumed on a national holiday.

 

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas December 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 1:24 pm
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Merry Christmas to everyone! 

I love Christmas.  I know it’s weird for me to feel that way, considering I’ve spent many years working in retail (if only at the holidays like this year) and people who spend a ton of time around grumpy Scrooges usually end up one themselves.  Thankfully, this has never been me.

For me, Christmas has always revolved around three things: family, presents (both giving and receiving), and food.

Serious eating has always been my main enjoyment of the holiday season.  My mother or grandmother always does this massive shopping trip in the days leading up to Christmas, stocking our house with all the crap you don’t eat during the rest of the year.  Nuts (cashews especially), candies, fudge, fancy cheeses, appetizers and fattening desserts are all the norm in our house around the holidays.  Normally, I would spend Christmas Eve, Christmas Day….and let’s face it, the entire holiday season (right until after New Years Eve), stuffing myself with crap until I am uncomfortably full ALL DAY LONG.  It always feels like a free for all, which I guess it’s been in the past.

This year, I asked my grandmother to avoid bringing that stuff in the house as much as possible.  I filled her stocking with lots of goodies, but asked that I receive none.  I have a slight advantage in this department, having a sensitivity to chocolate that has made me avoid it for more than twelve years, and not have having a sweet tooth, but I still love to gorge on the cheeses and dips and nuts around here, so she didn’t buy them.

I had a festive breakfast this morning, eating two small pancakes with less syrup than I normally use, one scrambled egg with skim milk, some grapes and some toast made on my WW bread.  I have an aversion to pork products that stretches back to childhood, so passing the bacon and sausage by was second nature.  I think my stomach has shrunk these last three weeks, because I was stuffed to the brim and really satisfied.  It was an “expensive” breakfast in terms of points, but I feel like I made some good choices that didn’t leave me feeling deprived.

Tonight at Christmas dinner it will be more of a challenge.  It’s not at my house, so I don’t have control of what they put out and I can foresee some nacho dip in my future.  However, my plan is to try to be as controlled as possible and avoid the punch bowl.  We’ll see how that goes.

 

I Can’t Stop Laughing December 23, 2008

Filed under: Weight Loss Updates — Tara @ 11:15 pm
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I am a grinning fool.  Seriously.

I lost 7.6 lbs.  That’s more than my first two weeks combined.  I didn’t do anything differently, so I don’t know how to repeat this kind of success.  I didn’t even really shovel any snow after our massive snow storm this weekend cause my uncle beat me to it.

Maybe this is some kind of Christmas miracle.  It’s better than my other theory, which was that wearing a different pair of pants than I normally wear caused this.  I mean, I’m sure there’s a weight difference between cords and dress slacks, but 7.6 lbs worth?  That seems like a bit of a stretch.

I’m so jazzed!  I almost spilled the beans about this whole “lifestyle change” (when will that stop sounding silly?) to my mother, just because I wanted to have someone to tell!  Thankfully, sanity prevailed and I resisted the urge.

 

Sooner or Later December 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 9:21 pm
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Just a quick post – I didn’t realize my local Weight Watchers closes at 6:30 pm on Mondays…..so there’s no weigh-in information yet.  Normally I go right after work, but tonight I was finishing up some Christmas shopping that’s on the way there and I arrived just as the staff was locking up.

I’ll go tomorrow.  I’m hoping for a two pound loss.  Cross your fingers for me.

 

Makin’ Sunshine December 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 8:54 am
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And now for some non-weight-loss news. 

I went to see the Trews in concert on Thursday!

For those of you who don’t know who the Trews are shame on you.  They put out great albums, but the real joy behind the Trews is their live show.  I have never in my life had the privilege of seeing a better band live.  I’ve been to many concerts, so this is quite a distinction in my opinion.

I can’t pin down exactly what I think it is that makes them so good, but here’s a shot: they’re enthusiastic on stage, they play revamped versions of their own songs, mixed with covers of other peoples songs, and they rock.

How’s that for coherent? 

I don’t know if they’re playing in your area anytime soon, but I recommend that if you see them advertised anywhere near you, you go and check them out.  You won’t be sorry….