A Perfect Version of Myself

Losing Weight is Hard

Go Shopping December 26, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 8:45 pm

I am so glad that my last shift at the bookstore is tomorrow.  I worked today from 11 am till 6 pm and I almost died.  My feet are so sore and my legs are throbbing.  It was a very long day. 

Sometimes I think that I have so much pride, it’s going to kill me because when the manager of the bookstore I worked at for a few years asked me to come back for the Christmas holidays, I said yes.

I said yes knowing that I was going to be extremely uncomfortable for much of my time there.  I knew that working on my feet, after not only gaining 65 lbs but also after not standing to work for three years, would be horrible.  I didn’t do it because I particularly needed the money, or because I love working two jobs (ha!), I said yes because if I had’ve said no to working there based solely on factors associated with my weight, I think a piece of me would have died.

You see, it’s one thing to fool yourself into thinking that you don’t like to fly – when really, you’re afraid you won’t fit in an airplane seat – or to tell yourself that you’re saving money by not clothes shopping – when really it’s getting harder and harder to find things that fit – it’s quite another to not be able to WORK because of your weight.  That’s one step away from my biggest nightmare, which is being so fat I end up on Jerry Springer (and only after they take the wall down in my house to get me out).

So I said yes and I’ve been aching ever since.  Thankfully as I said, tomorrow is my last day.  By this time next year, I hope to be down some considerable poundage and it will likely be easier on my body.  Cause weighing what I do, not sitting for eight hours and standing on concrete floors?  It’s less than fun.

Oh, and a brief update on the Christmas dinner situation?  I ate a huge bowl of salad, two pieces of white meat turkey and the smallest spoonful of stuffing.  I turned down the cheesecake and I only ate a couple of the sweet appetizers laid out.  And miracle of miracles around MY family, I didn’t drink a drop of hooch.

And then I ate nacho dip and tortilla chips while playing euchre.  Oops.

I’m not sweating it though, I figure it’s the least amount of calories I’ve ever consumed on a national holiday.


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