This week was terrific. I feel like I’m in a groove at last. I lost 4 lbs this week, which I’d love to believe except I don’t. I think this weeks great number is a combination of this weeks hard work and last weeks dismal(ish) number.
I also decided on a final weight goal this week. I haven’t given it to WW yet as my “official” goal weight, which will earn me lifetime member status, but in my head it’s what I’m working towards. I’m going to weigh 145 lbs one day.
That’s freaking me out a bit already!
Every time I’ve ever attempted weight loss, I’ve set my goal weight right away and then sat and dreamed about what my life would be like if I ever got there. Did you catch the two problems with my past actions? First, note the word “sat”. That’s right. I used to sit around and dream about being a certain weight, but I didn’t DO enough to actually achieve it. For some reason I kinda hoped it would just come to me, like a great idea for a novel or something. What the heck was with that? Why didn’t I think that I was going to have to work EXTREMELY hard to get the thing I wanted?!
The second thing wrong with that sentence was the word “if”. “IF I get to that weight”. Screw that. I’m getting there. It may take me half my life, but one day I will look down and see 145 on that scale. It will be more than a number, it will be the payoff of a lifetime of dreams, goals, expectations and HARD WORK.
That’s why this time is different. I’m in it with my eyes wide open. Sure, getting down to 145 will mean losing 183 lbs (HOLY SHIT) but I still can do it. I’m not saying it’s been easy so far, or that it’s going to get any easier (I have a feeling it’s actually going to get harder and harder) but that’s ok. I’m willing to put in the effort cause I’m worth it. And any time I feel like 183 lbs to lose is too much, I just have to remember how far I’ve already come.