A Perfect Version of Myself

Losing Weight is Hard

No Sleep (‘Til Brooklyn) March 20, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tara @ 7:15 pm

Today sucked.  I mean, SUUUUCKED.

For whatever reason, I could not fall asleep last night.  I laid there, all night long, practicing my subtraction.  “If I fall asleep RIGHT NOW, I will get four hours of sleep……If I fall asleep RIGHT NOW, I will get two and a half hours sleep” and so on, and so forth all night long.  I finally dozed off about fifteen minutes before my alarm went off.  Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.

I swear to God, the only thing (the ONLY thing) that got me out of bed this morning was that I promised myself that tomorrow (being Saturday), I could sleep in as late as I wanted.  I also talked myself into doing my hour (!) on the treadmill with the same promise.  I’m such a Scarlett O’Hara when it comes to stuff like this.  Tomorrow is another day and all that bullshit.

Work was hell.  It was busy and I felt like I was jet-lagged.  I was confused and weary and all I wanted to do was put my head down on my desk and take a nap.  Worse, when I get tired, I get irrationally angry.  I’m well aware of the fact that I’m not actually enraged at someone singing my name in the kitchen, but instead am just tired.  However it is really hard to talk myself out of doing violence to people when I’m running on fifteen minutes sleep.

My boss left me alone to go and “play” (his words, I swear to God) in the warehouse.  I’m sure that he was doing something worthwhile and meaningful and all that jazz, but he was supposed to be training someone on something and since I sit closest to that person’s desk, guess who kept having to answer the same damn question over and over again?  If you guessed me, I’ll send you a cookie in the mail.  ME!!!!  The one who could barely put together a coherent sentence!  The one who lost her train of thought while she was on the phone with a customer and trailed off, leaving a silence of approximately twenty seconds before she realized that SHE was supposed to be the one talking!  ME!!!!

Didn’t they know (and they did, I’m not what you’d call a ‘suffer in silence’ kinda gal) that I was tired?  Didn’t they care that I felt bad and my legs hurt and my stomach was wonky?  Nope.  I emailed my best friend to complain about how uncaring and rude my employers were (expecting me to actually WORK at work!  How rude!) and she was very sweet in a suck-it-up-buttercup kinda way, which was exactly what I needed.  If someone feels sorry for me, it usually results in my feeling justified for the crap way I’m treating everyone around me and I also have a tendency to wallow.

At one point I thought about going home, and at lunch I seriously contemplated taking a nap on the couch in our lunchroom but I didn’t.  If I had’ve done either of those things I would be screwed when it came time to go to bed tonight.  I know my own body well enough to know that a funky sleep schedule can get MUCH worse when you poke it with a stick (and by stick, I mean nap).

I know this post isn’t about weight loss per se but I’m in too bad of a mood to care.


One Response to “No Sleep (‘Til Brooklyn)”

  1. kristisummer Says:

    not being able to fall asleep is the worst. it throws your whole day off. you will sleep better tonight. good job on still doing the treadmill.

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