Like most of you out there, I read other blogs. Most especially, I read weight loss blogs. I find that they can be great motivation and/or provide great accountability. I’ve got a couple of the bigger ones on my blog-roll (Pasta Queen, Diet Girl) but I also like reading the blogs of people who haven’t hit their “after” picture yet. It makes me feel less alone.
That being said, I was reading this and it struck a chord with me.
Forthright Fattie mentions feeling comfortable at her current weight, even though she’s still fat because it’s where she’s been for a long time (I’m paraphrasing, sorry FF). That’s kinda where I am right now. I’ve been this size (give or take a few pounds) for most of my adult life. The last time I weighed less was in high school.
I feel better physically than I did then. I’m more active and I’m eating better, so consequently I feel great. I’m able to do the things that I had to give up due to my size and I’ve stopped fearing chairs with arms. I’m making plans to travel that will include airplanes and their small seats, not fearing that I will be asked to purchase two tickets, or worried that I will need a seat belt extender.
Still, I’m obese (morbidly so, according to my BMI). It’s amazing how often I have to remind myself that even though I feel thin, I’m not. I’m just thinNER.
It’s a tough place to be in because sometimes it makes it hard to motivate myself. Before I really felt a sense of urgency, like at any moment I could die or be in a situation where my weight could really hinder me. I don’t feel that way anymore, which is exactly how apathy towards my weight loss has always crept into a place of power in my thinking in the past.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This time is different. No matter how hard or how much I struggle, this time I will change my life. I just think it’s really helpful to recognize the things I’m struggling with and put them down on paper – even if it’s virtual paper.