I’m down the 1.4 lbs I gained last week, which is awesome. I’m feeling better, mentally. I don’t like to play the PMS card, but honestly I know it was a contributing factor to the emotional breakdown I experienced. I just know it was. It’s like my brain stops functioning and my emotions grab control of me during the week before my period. All you men out there don’t know how lucky you are not to experience this.
A couple of things to touch upon on the interwebs – I sent in a picture for Jack’s WIDTH project and he posted it. I’m touched to be included with such illustrious bloggers! I really love this whole idea – that bloggers can break down exactly why they’re doing this. Why we’re fighting to get our lives back. I like to read through them when I need a morale boost or when I feel like I can’t do it anymore (because yes, those thoughts still cross my mind almost 18 months into this).
The next issue is with the fantastic and wonderful Bitch Cakes. She wrote a whole post about activity and I encourage you to read it, if for nothing else than to read the line “You can’t buy confidence, you can only earn it”. Amen sister.
Exercise and fitness has given me that. I think I could have taken this weight off through diet alone – I’m a big believer in weight loss depending more on what you put in your mouth than what you do with your butt – however I would not be as confident in myself and the way I look without exercise.
When I’m walking around, sure I could focus on how my stomach still sticks out more than I would like, or how I still have this giant pannus that seems to be the same size it was when I weighed 300 lbs. I could focus on my bat wings or my cellulite. But I don’t. Instead, I feel the flex of the muscles in my thighs (or quads if you want to get technical) or the stretch in my calves when I walk. I focus on the tightness of my rear end (squats and lunges are your friends!) and the long lean look of my forearms. I focus on how easy it is for me to walk, climb, run, skip, jump, squat, reach and bend. All of this was achieved through my dedication to fitness and I thank myself for putting in the effort necessary to reap these rewards.
Often I thank myself by “gifting” myself with more activities! I’ve started hiking again after years of sabbatical (and by sabbatical, I mean of course watching tv and laying on my couch) and I’m learning how to play golf among other things.
I’m very much at home in my body these days and I owe that to exercise. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to make my lunch so I can go to spin class for 6 am tomorrow – I’ll just reread this post at 5 am to remind myself how much I love to move my body!