A Perfect Version of Myself

Losing Weight is Hard

The Concept January 1, 2010

Filed under: Goals and Expectations — Tara @ 2:17 pm

Since its January 1st, I believe the time has come for me to make my resolutions known to the world. 

Last year my resolution was simple: lose weight.  I didn’t particularly care how much weight, I just wanted to take off as much as I could.  I ended 2009 having lost about 129 lbs (although the New Years Eve indulgence has yet to be accounted for) and feel like a completely different person than I did last January. 

This year it’s different.  I still want to lose about 55 lbs, but I really don’t care how long it takes to shed them.  Don’t get me wrong, I still plan to follow my WW points and get plenty of exercise, but I realized the other day that if I never lost another pound, I could be happy at this weight.  I guess a benefit of being over 300 lbs is feeling skinny at 199.  I can now find cute clothes that fit in sizes that aren’t Plus, I can bound up flights of stairs, I no longer have to circle parking lots looking for close spots because I can park at the back and walking to the doors is no problem.  I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been in my adult life so this year, my focus will be on fitness resolutions, not losing weight.  I also have a plan and timeline for how I’m going to complete these goals, leaving me less likely to not accomplish them.

Without further ado, here is my To-Do list for 2010:

1.  Take swimming lessons –  Now, I wouldn’t drown if I fell off a boat.  I can float, tread water and dog paddle, but I’m not a strong swimmer and I can’t put my face in the water.  This is a problem because of another of my goals involves being a strong swimmer, therefore lessons are in order.  I’ve already called the city parks department and discovered that adults must take private lessons, so I’m saving my pennies to be able to sign up for these in February.

2.  Sign up for a Learn to Run 5K – they offer these in my town at the Running Room.  I want to take up running outdoors, and I’ve thought many times about doing the Couch to 5K but I’d really like to tackle it in a group format, and I think joining a running group is the way to go.  I don’t want to learn to run on ice, so I’m waiting till March for this one.

3.  Run a 5K in May – at the end of the LTR program, you are signed up for a 5K run and I can’t wait to be able to say that I’ve done this!

4.  Ride my bike – I bought a bike last year and barely used it.  My ass just cannot take sitting on that tiny little seat, so I’m going to buy padded shorts and hit spin classes until the good weather comes around and hope that my bum is broken in enough to withstand that hard, tiny seat in the spring.

5.  Take up yoga or Pilates – I’ve been wanting to do this for some time now, but I never seemed to find the time.  No more!  If it means sacrificing some of my beloved cardio, then so be it.  I want to be more flexible and balanced and I am going to make the time to take these classes.  They are offered at my gym so there is really no excuse.

6.  WEIGHT TRAINING – I put this off and put this off because I hate it.  I hate lifting weights.  It makes me so tired (as opposed to cardio which energizes me) and I can never keep it up long enough to see results.  I am resolving to get in at least two weight workouts per week using a program from a book I bought about nine months ago and have never used.

7.  Run a half-triathlon – I would like to accomplish this by the end of the year and it’s the goal I’m most nervous about.  It’s the reason I want to be a better swimmer and why I want to take up biking.  My uncle Chris has expressed an interest in doing this with me and I really like to have long-term goals to work towards.  I don’t think I’m a distance runner (no marathons in my future) but I love the idea of an event that uses biking, running and swimming, so I figure I’ll give a triathlon my best shot.  I’ll start with half-tri’s and move to full ones eventually.

There you have it.  The seven things I’m working towards in 2010.  What are you planning to do with your year?


Eat to the Beat October 6, 2009

Filed under: Goals and Expectations,Weight Loss Updates — Tara @ 1:56 pm

Another 1 lb is gone!  I’ve also hit a new “decade” of numbers this week, which is definitely cause for a celebration.

Two things to report.

First, after many obese years of searching for them close to my home, I can now finally get a shish taouk without driving for an hour.  These sandwiches are so freaking awesome.  It’s warm pita, garlic sauce, spiced grilled chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled turnips and spiced onions, wrapped up and grilled to perfection.  During my brief stay in Montreal, I got obsessed with these but they’ve never really caught on in my lame suburb and it’s a shame.  Finally, a Villa Medina opened in the mall I work at part-time and I can get my fix!

Of course, I’m not so certain this is a good thing.  They’re not HORRIBLE for you, it’s mostly chicken and veggies, the garlic sauce isn’t the greatest, but it’s not a disaster either.  The problem is that this is one of those foods, where all I want to do is eat it over and over again.  I had one for dinner last night and I want it again tonight.  I’ve been thinking about it all day!  Now I understand how other people feel about chocolate!  I have to figure out how to muscle through this craving somehow.

Second thing is that I’ve set a new major-mini goal.  I know, contradiction, right?

But return from vacations are not good for me.  The time off from pushing myself always feels so great that I give in to the urge to be lazy far too often.  After I visited my mom, I had real trouble getting out of the “60’s” because I wasn’t as focused as I could be.  I set myself a goal to achieve, one with a time limit and it worked a treat!  I’m going to do it again!

Here it is:  by the time we find ourselves in 2010, I want to be out of the “two-club” forever and into “one-derland” (even though I hate that term and will never again use it).  That gives me twelve weeks to lose about 20 lbs, averaging out to 1.6 lbs per week.  Sounds like it could happen.  But!  There are many things standing between me and the “one-club”.  I have surgery, and then the recovery from surgery (thus limiting my workouts for a while) and then the dreaded CHRISTMAS SEASON.  CHRISTMAS SEASON which is filled with parties, insane work schedules and stress.  Lots and lots of stress.

I needed focus and a goal and I think this will really help me get through the next twelve weeks without eating myself into a food coma.

Wish me luck!


Push May 18, 2009

Filed under: Goals and Expectations — Tara @ 11:20 am

I’ve decided that I need some new motivation.  I’m still chipping away at the weight in fifteen pound increments, but I think one of the reasons I had so much early success is that I was driven to meet a specific poundage lost by the time my mom came to visit.

Therefore:  new goal!

I turn 28 years old on September 21st.  Coincidentally, I’m taking vacation that week.  My sister (who turns 21 this July) and I have been discussing a trip to Vegas, which we’ve decided should take place during this magical week I’m off (magical because my birthday is on the 21st, she’s turning 21 and we could play blackjack AKA 21).

I have decided that I want to have lost 100 lbs by the time we go to Vegas. 

It’s not impossible, but it is an aggressive goal.  It means losing 38 lbs in just over 17 weeks or 2.25 lbs per week.  I think I can do it though, and at the very least it’s some serious push to get my butt in gear when all I want to do is lie on the couch and watch Alias DVD’s (seriously, I miss that show and seeing Star Trek this weekend – where I once again denied myself movie popcorn – only made it worse).

In other news, there’s something wrong with my stomach.  My doctor thinks it’s either an ulcer or gallstones.  She’s given me some pills to combat the acid in my stomach and so far there seems to be some improvement, even if it’s given me a chronic headache that hasn’t gone away for a week.  I guess it’s worth it not to regret eating every time I swallow food.


Goal Goal Aoal March 10, 2009

Filed under: Goals and Expectations,Weight Loss Updates — Tara @ 6:05 pm

This week was terrific.  I feel like I’m in a groove at last.  I lost 4 lbs this week, which I’d love to believe except I don’t.  I think this weeks great number is a combination of this weeks hard work and last weeks dismal(ish) number. 

I also decided on a final weight goal this week.  I haven’t given it to WW yet as my “official” goal weight, which will earn me lifetime member status, but in my head it’s what I’m working towards.  I’m going to weigh 145 lbs one day.


That’s freaking me out a bit already! 

Every time I’ve ever attempted weight loss, I’ve set my goal weight right away and then sat and dreamed about what my life would be like if I ever got there.  Did you catch the two problems with my past actions?  First, note the word “sat”.  That’s right.  I used to sit around and dream about being a certain weight, but I didn’t DO enough to actually achieve it.  For some reason I kinda hoped it would just come to me, like a great idea for a novel or something.  What the heck was with that?  Why didn’t I think that I was going to have to work EXTREMELY hard to get the thing I wanted?!

The second thing wrong with that sentence was the word “if”.  “IF I get to that weight”.  Screw that.  I’m getting there.  It may take me half my life, but one day I will look down and see 145 on that scale.  It will be more than a number, it will be the payoff of a lifetime of dreams, goals, expectations and HARD WORK.

That’s why this time is different.  I’m in it with my eyes wide open.  Sure, getting down to 145 will mean losing 183 lbs (HOLY SHIT) but I still can do it.  I’m not saying it’s been easy so far, or that it’s going to get any easier (I have a feeling it’s actually going to get harder and harder) but that’s ok.  I’m willing to put in the effort cause I’m worth it.  And any time I feel like 183 lbs to lose is too much, I just have to remember how far I’ve already come.


Pound For Pound Challenge January 9, 2009

Filed under: Goals and Expectations — Tara @ 10:14 am

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As a fan of the Biggest Loser, I’ve decided that I’m going to try the pound for pound challenge.  Basically for every pound you lose, 10 cents will be donated to help buy groceries for people struggling to make ends meet.  In our economic times, this can be many of us (including me sometimes).  I figured I’m already losing weight, I might as well put some money out there as well.

If you wanna join too, go here.


Within Your Reach January 4, 2009

Filed under: Goals and Expectations — Tara @ 1:34 pm

I think it’s time I put my goals in writing.  I think about them all the time, but sometimes (in moments of weakness) it’s nice to have them in print.  That way, you can go and look at them and remind yourself that you’d rather achieve your goals then eat some more nacho dip.  Mmmm, nacho dip.

My first goal was to lose fifteen pounds.  I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, and it’s not.  That’s the point.  I have a crap-load of weight to lose and if I think about how far I have to go, I feel like jumping out the window.  I want to have some small, achievable goals to concentrate on and then each time I achieve on of them, I’ve promised myself something shiny.  It’s win-win.

My next goal is to get below 300 lbs.  I have about 8.5 lbs to lose in order to complete it and I think that’s doable by the end of January.  I’m not into setting time lines for weight loss because I believe there’s no reliable way to predict how your body is going to react to dietary changes and exercise, but in this case I think I can do it.  It means a loss of roughly two pounds a week until the end of the month.  Not exactly rapid weight loss, so I’ll try and hit a time mark this one time.

My ultimate goal has yet to be determined.  I do know that I want some things out of life – the ability to walk up and down the stairs without getting winded, the energy and ability to start hiking and camping again, for a sleeping bag to fit comfortably around me, to travel to far off places (where I’ll walk and sight-see like a normal tourist instead of having to take cabs), to fit comfortably in any seat (airplane, movie theatre, sports arena) – but I haven’t figured out what my goal weight should be.  Weight Watchers says I should aim for a healthy BMI, which for me would be between 118 and 155 lbs.  That’s a pretty big range, so I’m waiting to name a final weight goal until I’m closer.

I’m going to keep you posted on my goals.  Like I said, I’m only trying to bite off what I can chew.  For now, I’m just trying to see a “2” as the first number in my weight.